I realize I posted this yesterday on Facebook but I'm telling you, dubstep is taking over my world this week. How do I go from indie folk rock to drum and bass? My life in a nutshell these days.
So again, I apologize for not writing sooner. I realize in order to fulfill my dream of writing and keeping this blog alive, I have to be more consistent with writing. That's even when I feel really tired (like I do now) or when I'm in the middle of work (like I am now) and even after lots of sun, running around, taking care of house stuff, going to meetings and back home to get what some people call a nap. It's a lot but this is important to me. So here I am. I will be more calculated about what I write about and how often. Thank you so much to all of you who actually read this and care about why I maybe haven't written. It's awesome to be thought of. My teacher/mentor at school this morning was hoping I wasn't drinking or drunk last weekend as I missed a couple of days of school. She was relieved to know that it was to catch up with myself and get things done that I really need to get done. It's important for my sanity and to keep myself from going downhill. I dig productive time alone. Probably the best time there is for me at this juncture.
As far as this music, it's just really got me going. I feel a bit like my old self when I listen and some like my new self. To give a brief introduction, for those of you who do not know about this band, Miike Snow is not a person, but a whole band consisting of three Swedish men who are brilliant musicians collaborating with other musicians on techno/drum&bass/trip hop/dubstep projects namely Britney Spears, Madonna, Kylie Minogue, and Kelis just to mention a few.
They were given a best dance song Grammy award for Spears' "Toxic". Now, this would not be a likely choice for my music collection but my musical tastes are budding, being born since I can actually keep my eyes and ears open, crystal clear, to hear what is being played. Before, I was not doing this. I was stuck in my ways and my habits. No more. Even this morning, I listened to the jazz special on NPR. It was a wonderful way to beat traffic while sipping hot tea and watching the sun come up.
Don't think that I have gone off the beaten path too much. On the same CD in the same traffic jam today, this followed:
This is an incredible video, if you have not checked it out yet.
***OMG. I just spent an hour from when I started this looking up an animated music video that I cannot think of the name of. This is frustrating. I am going to have to end my blog here. It's almost 12:30. I have to get up in 4 1/2 hours to finish work and get a move on for school.***
I can't wait for school to be over. I can't wait to go on a vacation in my lifetime again. I can't wait to watch Scarlett excel in school. I can't wait to have more time with friends. I can't wait to work out every day, in some form of another, so that my body feels worshiped and cared for. I can't wait for there to be just enough time in a day where I feel like my ducks are in a row. But just for that day.
Wishing can be dangerous. Not feeling grateful is dangerous. And feeling in the moment is difficult. At the meeting tonight, I shared about denial, how people live in a fantasy world in order to avoid feelings. In fact, I have been reading a lot about this concept and it just clicks. This is what I have been doing for god knows how long. I am ready to live in reality now. A lovely reality. And a hard one. It's really the only one I've got now, isn't it?
Goodnight.
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